Wallpaper Soup and Cobblestone Pudding
T’ Chancellor says times are going to be hard for the next couple of years. These yuppies u’ll have to cut down to two 4 X4’s and only have 3 foreign holidays a year. Poor devils. They don’t know what hard is.
I bet they’ll never have to live on Wallpaper Soup followed by Cobblestone Pudding.
Mind you I don’t know where you’d get cobblestones to make pudding with these days. They are all under six inch of asphalt. Cobblestone pudding wor grand, it needed to be well boiled but fair stuck to the lining of your stomach once it were down.
My mother’s speciality was Wallpaper Soup. She had an arrangment w’it local decorator, we’d scrape the wallpaper off an house for 6d and all the old wallpaper we could carry. Mother would make soup with it, it were good stuff, not like tissue paper rubbish they put on walls these days, we liked Sandersons best had a lovely flavour. A fair size living room would feed us for a fortnight. You had to be careful with any green from old Victorian houses as it could have arsenic in it, we’d try that out on next doors dog before we’d eat it.
We were lucky, we never had to pawn t’carsy but we used to pawn Grandma. Then we could have a small tin of corned beef for Sunday dinner. Even with Gran not there it didn’t go far, the youngest just got to lick the tin out.
You rich folk won’t know this, but if you havn’t redeemed t’pledge after 3 months `Uncle’ is entitled to sell it. Well one time we forgot all about Gran, when we went wi’t brass she’d gone, along wi’t watchchains, front doors and such that folk had popped and forgot about. It was just luck we got her back.
Uncle Eddie, who was manning an Ack Ack gun in London, had gone to t’Windmill Theatre with some mates and there was Gran in one of them nude Tableaux they used to have there during the war, to cheer up the troops. A’l bet Gran in t’nude cheered them up no end, facing t’Germans wouldn’t seem so bad after facing Gran in her corsets.
He knew it were Gran cos’ she still had her corset on he’d seen many a time on’t washing line.
He had to buy her back from’t proprieter. Three shilling she cost and he sent her back up north in a tank transporter going up to t’Ordnance factory at Barnbow in Leeds. When she got to Leeds she wouldn’t come home, she’d got a taste for this nude lark, she got a job at Leeds City Varieties doing a strip show, though it was always respectable, she never removed her corset, even with them big feathers in front of her.
When I was an apprentice in Leeds she used to get me into the shows free and take me backstage. I met Phyllis Dixie and Peaches Page, fine big girl was Peaches. Gran gave up the nude lark when she were 87, and became a skydiving instructor at Sherburn in Elmet Airfield . She were 103 when `chute didn’t open and she went through t’top of gasometer in Pontefract and t’lot blew up, biggest bang in Pontefract since Cromwell shelled t’castle. As Granddad said , she allus wanted to go out with a bang and it saved cost of a funeral. We go and put flowers in Pontefract Gasworks every anniversary still.
Here’s one o’the posters with her on it.