This is me at seven years of age. I’m a snow flake.
I’m all dressed up for my one and only dance recital at Mrs. Scofield’s School of Ballet. I think my mother made me turn to the side so as to hide my scabby knees. My knees were all always scabby. The next year I would take piano lessons across town with Mrs. Scofield’s sister, Mrs. Adams.
Mrs. Adams was as short and fat as Mrs. Scofield was tall and willowy. I took piano lesson from her for 4 years and whenever I saw Mrs. Adams she was always sitting down in her chair by the piano and because I never saw her get up and walk I assumed that she had no legs. She was so short and round that when she sat the skirt of her floral mumu hung down to the floor covering any evidence of a presence of legs or a lack thereof. In my mind I had imagined this entire scenario of her husband, Mr. Adams, getting her up and dressed in her Tuesday mumu then propping her sad little legless body on her chair by the piano before he went to work that morning. On a small table to the right of her chair sat a pitcher of water, a glass and a candy dish of lemon drops and I could picture him making sure the pitcher had fresh water and the dish was full of lemon drops before kissing her good-bye then off to work he would go leaving poor Mrs. Adams sitting alone in the living room with only her piano students to keep her company. Then one day during the middle of my piano lesson she got up and walked into the other room and I nearly had a heart attack.
Today is the anniversary of my birth. I’m 63 using the MizRed Method of Age Calculation. That makes me 9 in dog years and for a nine year old dog I’m feeling pretty spry.
The MizRed Method of Age Calculation and Instant Spirit Rejuvenation is to simply add 5 years to your present age. Never lie down about your age. Lie up. No one ever believes you if you lie about being younger but if you lie about being older they are astonished and amazed at how young you look for a person your age.
Having a bad day? Go to a public place, such as the line at a grocery store or some place like that then find a way to work your new older age into a conversation and just listen to the compliments roll in.
Here’s something else I’ve learned in my 63 years of life - the secret to aging gracefully is to age. Gracefully. Why not get a leg up on the aging process and tell everyone you’re older than you really are. Doesn’t mean you have to act like it.
CLOGGY:— A fascinating story and some very sound mathmatical advice from the wonderful MizRed.