ROYSTON VASEY NOTES AND NEWS

I was asked this in the Mason’s Arms Pub Quiz last Saturday. High Class is the Mason’s Quiz, none of your Football or pop music questions ;
(1)
Imagine yourself face to face with a “owl”, ghost or unknown beast.
How large is it in relation to you and what might happen on your approach?

Well this did happen to me as a matter of fact, I was walking on the canal towpath at Slaithwaite, not far from where Nathan Ackroyd pulled that big pike out, when this big owl, six foot he was, came up to me and said ” “Excuse me sir, have you seen a pussycat on your travels”.
“You’re not from round here” I said noting his strong Lancashire accent.
“No, from Ashton” he replied” We’ve just come through Standedge tunnel in our beautiful Pea Green boat”
“How big is this pussycat”
“About 5foot 8”
“He or She??”
” Indutiably a she” he said. I reckon he came from t’posh part of Ashton near t’Glue factory
Well we tried all the usual Cat finding tricks, “Hey pussy, pussy,pussy” and I borrowed a saucer of milk from Globe Mill’s cat but to no avail, then Albert Halkyard shouted across road” Are you looking for a big cat Cloggy?”
“I am Albert ,lad “
“Well there’s one in’t Commercial lapping up a Milk Stout”
and in The Commercial we found Gwendoline, the missing Pussy Cat who had been making good use of the plenty of money wrapped up in the five pound note.She was a well set up lass as well. Turns out they’d come through t’Pennines to take part in a Fancy Dress do at t’Mason’s Arms so I was able to show them the way. We had a good night as well and am pleased to say that, as so rarely happens, there was a happy ending and they won first prize.
Funnily enough when me and Li were at Ashton Canal Museum last week, their Pea Green Boat was in the Museum basin but no sign of Owl or Pussycat. Li was’nt bothered about seeing t’Owl but he’d have fair liked another look at Pussycat.