master-li
master-li:

The War of the Roses  never having been satisfactorily settled -on home turf according to the Yorkists and the perfidious Lancastrians- is once more to the fore. It was decided to settle the matter -once and for all- over a game of fundamentalist cribbage. The fundamental part is out of sight and consists of a concurrent shin kicking  match; this is covered by the ‘Clinton’ rules as all the real action goes on under the table. No cigars just pipes and ‘one for his knob’ has a whole new meaning

Cloggy:- May I add that this came  under Royston Vasey  Rules when metal tipped clogs are worn. The event was held in The Mason’s Arms, Courtsesy Pat O’Flanneler, Landlord

master-li:


The War of the Roses  never having been satisfactorily settled -on home turf according to the Yorkists and the perfidious Lancastrians- is once more to the fore. It was decided to settle the matter -once and for all- over a game of fundamentalist cribbage. The fundamental part is out of sight and consists of a concurrent shin kicking  match; this is covered by the ‘Clinton’ rules as all the real action goes on under the table. No cigars just pipes and ‘one for his knob’ has a whole new meaning

Cloggy:- May I add that this came  under Royston Vasey  Rules when metal tipped clogs are worn. The event was held in The Mason’s Arms, Courtsesy Pat O’Flanneler, Landlord

ROYSTON VASEY NOTES & NEWS
With the Tour De France passing so close to Royston Vasey it was inevitable that  would cause some local event. This turned out to be an Historic Cycle Race that will be held over Holme Moss the week previous to the Tour. The Mason’s Arms is entering Miss Georgia Fowler on this Penny Farthing and she has already made several very fast ascents of the hill and even faster descents down towards Woodhead. We are getting some good odds from the Bookies on her and once serious training starts in the Spring we reckon we have a winner.


From HERE

ROYSTON VASEY NOTES & NEWS

With the Tour De France passing so close to Royston Vasey it was inevitable that  would cause some local event. This turned out to be an Historic Cycle Race that will be held over Holme Moss the week previous to the Tour. The Mason’s Arms is entering Miss Georgia Fowler on this Penny Farthing and she has already made several very fast ascents of the hill and even faster descents down towards Woodhead. We are getting some good odds from the Bookies on her and once serious training starts in the Spring we reckon we have a winner.

From HERE

Kahlila Gibran:—-Temporal Traveller

Mrs Una Persson, Doyen of Time Travellers is staying with Kahlila Gibran for a while on business concerning The Guild of Temporal Adventurers. We picture her in Kahlila’s workshop showing her amazement at the number of tools and machines it contains in such a small space.
I was in the Mason’s Arms with Kahlila and Mrs Una Persson at the weekend. We were in the snug as Kahlila was dressed up for once, even had her artificial nails on, the ones with the Yorkshire Rose on.Kahlila and me were having our usual, Mrs Persson was drinking mead, something she’d acquired a taste for when she was back in the Viking era in York. Luckily Pat O’Flanneler keeps a stock on for the Dark Ages Renactment Group that have their monthly meetings in The Mason’s Arms. Frighten you to death if you meet them unexpectedly with them being all dressed in fur with steel helmets and bloody great swords.Anyway, Mrs Persson was showing me the Chrononauts Handbook full of essential advice for time Travellers. One of the main things is to avoid anachronisms,as they will be a dead givaway.She allowed me to post this picture from it illustrating a definite NoNo.
All Mrs Persson takes with her is a very small digital camera and a small Weta Ray Gun. The later is used only to incapacitate and not to kill as if someone is killed in the past it could change the whole of history and Tim Berners-Lee might not be born and then where would we be??
Mrs Persson’s Victorious Mongoose small Ray Gun

Mrs Persson’s miniature digital camera

Mrs Persson let me have this picture to show you what results she can get. It is of Kahlila in 1540 at the Court of Henry VIII when Henry had just divorced Anne of Cleves and was looking for number 5. Kahlila was favourite but made her escape back to her own time and Katherine Howard was the lucky girl and was parted from her head a couple of years later. Mrs Persson was with Kahlila posing as her lady in waiting.

Kahlila Gibran:—-Temporal Traveller

Mrs Una Persson, Doyen of Time Travellers is staying with Kahlila Gibran for a while on business concerning The Guild of Temporal Adventurers. We picture her in Kahlila’s workshop showing her amazement at the number of tools and machines it contains in such a small space.

I was in the Mason’s Arms with Kahlila and Mrs Una Persson at the weekend. We were in the snug as Kahlila was dressed up for once, even had her artificial nails on, the ones with the Yorkshire Rose on.
Kahlila and me were having our usual, Mrs Persson was drinking mead, something she’d acquired a taste for when she was back in the Viking era in York. Luckily Pat O’Flanneler keeps a stock on for the Dark Ages Renactment Group that have their monthly meetings in The Mason’s Arms. Frighten you to death if you meet them unexpectedly with them being all dressed in fur with steel helmets and bloody great swords.
Anyway, Mrs Persson was showing me the Chrononauts Handbook full of essential advice for time Travellers. One of the main things is to avoid anachronisms,as they will be a dead givaway.
She allowed me to post this picture from it illustrating a definite NoNo.

image

All Mrs Persson takes with her is a very small digital camera and a small Weta Ray Gun. The later is used only to incapacitate and not to kill as if someone is killed in the past it could change the whole of history and Tim Berners-Lee might not be born and then where would we be??

Mrs Persson’s Victorious Mongoose small Ray Gun

Mrs Persson’s miniature digital camera

image

Mrs Persson let me have this picture to show you what results she can get. It is of Kahlila in 1540 at the Court of Henry VIII when Henry had just divorced Anne of Cleves and was looking for number 5. Kahlila was favourite but made her escape back to her own time and Katherine Howard was the lucky girl and was parted from her head a couple of years later. Mrs Persson was with Kahlila posing as her lady in waiting.

image

ROYSTON VASEY NOTES & NEWS
The above appeared on the notice board at the Mason’s Arms between the poster for the Easter Whippet Racing  and  Over 60’s Tap Dancing and Skydiving Club notice. It appears to be the cover of a magazine and one you would not associate with the Mason’s  Arms where you are more likely to find ‘Pig Breeding Today’ or ’ The  Telegraph Pole  Insulator Enthusiast’
Intrigued, I asked Skinner Normanton, at the paper shop, who bought it and he said the only copy went to Viral Bassoon’s Hairdressing Salon. I had a word with Viral and the cover was missing off his copy. He said that none of his lady customers would go near the Mason’s Arms but Old Gaffer Entwistle  did come in to pick up his wife, and he is besotted  with the magnificently thighed  Johanna Dray  so we reckon he is the culprit.
From HERE

ROYSTON VASEY NOTES & NEWS

The above appeared on the notice board at the Mason’s Arms between the poster for the Easter Whippet Racing  and  Over 60’s Tap Dancing and Skydiving Club notice. It appears to be the cover of a magazine and one you would not associate with the Mason’s  Arms where you are more likely to find ‘Pig Breeding Today’ or ’ The  Telegraph Pole  Insulator Enthusiast’

Intrigued, I asked Skinner Normanton, at the paper shop, who bought it and he said the only copy went to Viral Bassoon’s Hairdressing Salon. I had a word with Viral and the cover was missing off his copy. He said that none of his lady customers would go near the Mason’s Arms but Old Gaffer Entwistle  did come in to pick up his wife, and he is besotted  with the magnificently thighed  Johanna Dray  so we reckon he is the culprit.

From HERE

ROYSTON VASEY NOTES & NEWS
The recent visit by the Tory Party Top Brass to Yorkshire has caused problems for Miss Whiplash, proprietor of Miss Whiplash’s Massage  Emporium here in Royston Vasey. A number of her girls have been tempted away by the promise of big wages and other benefits to take up positions as Personal Assistants to Ministers and Senior Government Officials. This has left her short staffed but fortunately she has been able to obtain the services of the Morgan Triplets from Upperthong.
 Jay, Kay and May Morgan, pictured above have been outfitted by Maris Piper of Kinky Korsets in Holmfirth.  Miss Whiplash says that the rumour that there will be a three for two offer is totally untrue and appears to have originated in the Mason’s Arms. 
From HERE

ROYSTON VASEY NOTES & NEWS

The recent visit by the Tory Party Top Brass to Yorkshire has caused problems for Miss Whiplash, proprietor of Miss Whiplash’s Massage  Emporium here in Royston Vasey. A number of her girls have been tempted away by the promise of big wages and other benefits to take up positions as Personal Assistants to Ministers and Senior Government Officials. This has left her short staffed but fortunately she has been able to obtain the services of the Morgan Triplets from Upperthong.

Jay, Kay and May Morgan, pictured above have been outfitted by Maris Piper of Kinky Korsets in Holmfirth.  Miss Whiplash says that the rumour that there will be a three for two offer is totally untrue and appears to have originated in the Mason’s Arms. 

From HERE