The Elephant and his Secret Tindink
As soon as I saw the above picture and accompanying article in The Royston Vasey Herald Tribune I made a point of seeing Secret Tindink as soon as possible. I ran her to earth in The Mason’s Arms getting ready for a Ladies Armwrestling Match.
” Hey yer daft bat, whatever possessed thee to jump out of t’airship just with them wings on” I asked. I tend to drop into the Yorkshire when I’m in The Arms so the regulars won’t think I’m putting on the posh.
“Hey up Cloggy” replied Secret Tindink, who’s a bit t’same way ” Ar’s tha barn”
“Nobbut Middlin Dink, Fair to Middlin, and thee??” I replied
“Fair to good. Better nar that ar Joseph has arrived save and sound in OZ. Got some good lungs on him, could hear him all t’way from OZ on’t phone”
“Nar abart this jumpin” I started
“Well folk know about t’Rocket Wing and kept askin if I flew with the Steampunk ones so I thought I’d give it a go” she answered ” so I went up to t’airfield and got ‘em to take me up to 3000 feet and then I hopped out”
I should point out that Secret Tindink is Tindink Van de Graaff, First Lady of LaLa Land and commander of a fleet of airships. Also apart from flying the Rocket Wing she has leapt through burning hoops in the circus and been fired from a cannon on a regular basis so she is not adverse to risk.
“They’re a bit lacking in wing area so I was a lot faster than I expected. I managed a few swoops and wing overs but I knew I would never get slow enough to land on t’ground” she continued ” Muck or nettles Cloggy lad. So it was a case of Lord Vasey’s ornamental lake or the canal, T’canal tastes a lot better than t’lake so I went for that. Splashed in near Cellars Clough and some fishermen pulled me art and dried me off. So alls well that ends well”
“Yer a daft bat” I commented “Wheers t’elephant. Dun’t offen see thee without him”
” He’s sulking. First he wanted to go up in’t airship. Bloody Graf Zeppelin could’nt get him off t’grarnd and which captain in their right mind ud want an elephant waving a cutlass in a fragile thing like an airship. Then t’other thing is he didn’t like me splashing down in’t canal ’cos there’s always a lot of fuss and he goes on about me being supposed to be his SECRET Tindink. I should have done it on my day off when I can do what i want and not be secret. He’ll come round. I’m going away for a few days so I’ll be really bloody secret as far as he’s concerned. Well lad t’match is starting a’ll see thi later”