January 2010
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Miss Postlethwaite
Ah, this takes me back Barnsley Grammar School at the time when Miss Postlethwaite used to take the Chemistry Class. It was because of the War of course. All the men teachers had been called up and the hitherto all male staff room now contained ladies of all types and dispositions, the undoubted star of which was Miss Postlethwaite. She must have been a good teacher as Chemistry was my best...
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Master Li's new housemaid.
On a recent visit to Master Li’s I found the new housemaid had settled in well though she was complaining that Master Li kept the Central Heating turned up high even on the warm days. “If I didn’t take off my cardigan I’d faint” she told me “And that bloody new rabbit is not QUITE housetrained yet.” I left her dusting the dry stone wall.
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Now you've had a Bad Hair Day havn't you ??
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The Royston Vasey Abandoned Buildings Society
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Being the Leader of The Abandoned Buildings Society involves more than wearing a red catsuit or elegant bustled gown. Kahlila is a member of a group of the Society who are restoring the boiler of the old tripe factory with a view to transforming it into a Tripe Museum. Her job was to remove the soot from the flues and as can be seen she spared no effort in this task. Removing the soot from...
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Kahlila Gibran:---Para Glider Test Pilot
With his usual test Pilot Tindink unavailable as she is in Australia, Master Li turned to Kahlila to test fly his new Mini-Paraglider.Knowing the landing speed would be high, Kahlila chose a field of long grass to land in. Note her retracting undercarriage to reduce drag.
The Royston Vasey Knit and Natter Group
When asked if she didn’t thing the sweater she’d knitted for her niece Harriet was a little on the large size Old Mrs Sidebottom replied “She’ll grow into it”. Harriet is 33 years old.
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Dangel, overheated by all her track walking, takes...
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Circulation War in Royston Vasey.
For newcomers to Royston Vasey I must correct the impression that the Royston Vasey Chronicle is Royston Vasey’s only local paper, just shows what circles some people move in.The village has two local papers.The Herald Tribune is a broadsheet for the toffs who live at t’top end of the village, the ones who have inside toilets with Izal loo paper and drink out of pint pots.The...
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1939 KTT Velocette 350
Another well remembered 350 Racer from the 50’s. Velocette clung on to girder forks to the end. The only bike I coveted more was an Excelsior “Manxman”. I used to see one on my way to work when I was a young lad in Leeds. You’d be lucky to see on in a museum now. Mind you at that time I had the choice, in my lunchbreak, of going and seeing big steam locos hauling the...
"It's a Bone Shaker" says Kiri
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Prehistoric Version :- Cylosaurus Rex
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Kahlila Gibran:---Temporal Traveller
I was asking Kahlila about these Temporal Travels she mentioned. We were sat in the Tap Room at The Mason’s Arms the other night, it had to be the tap room because she was in her overalls and had a face as black as our fireback, me with half of Old Horizontal and her with a shandy, and she was telling me she almost became Queen of England. She was on one of her long distance trips back to...
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Viral Bassoon's "Way Out" Hair Styling Salon
Evidence that Viral Bassoon’s fame has spread far and wide came when Lady Gaga made a special visit to Royston Vasey to have her hair styled by him.
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Kahlila Gibran:- Hot Rod Builder
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In my youth I was an avid reader of American ‘Hot Rod’ magazines.I used to dream of driving one like this , especially with no mudguards ,(in a typical English summer!!) full of bobbysoxers as in ‘Happy Days’.I could have been the Fonz of Royston Vasey
I was quite excited therefore when Kahlila told me she was going to build a Hot Rod in The Shed.
When she finished her Hot Rod I...
Should I be flattered that Tindink has named...
tindink:
cloggo:
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*chuckle*
Tindink has just explained to me that as on Tumblr I am Cloggo she has got another robot that she calls “Cloggo” and sent me it’s picture below
No 16 on my list of 15 favourite towns and cities
kg13:
PARIS
I formed a poor impression of it long ago, mostly the result of pictures looked at, books read and the sheer fear of trying to make myself understood on their terms, in their language. That is so entrenched that it can still surface at times, temporarily obliterating my real experience of the city in 2001, which was quite special.
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My high school knowledge of French wasn’t...
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The Royston Vasey Womens Institute.
At this weeks meeting of The Royston Vasey Womens Institute, Sister Anna, of Nana Tourettes Angels of Mercy, spoke on the subject of “Cleavage and it’s Ecclesiastical Implications” . The vote of thanks was given by Mrs Ponsonby-Gore and tea and buns were provided by Miss Timkins who also provided a bottle of her special distilled potato wine for the raffle. It was announced...
“For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.”
– Virginia Woolf (via bitchville)
She wrote a hell of a lot of poems though, our poetry book at school was full of them. ——-Cloggo
Cities and towns I have loved
kg13:
In no order except as they occurred to me … 1 Venice 2 London 3 Zagreb 4 Santa Barbara 5 Wellington, New Zealand 6 Kuala Lumpur 7 Jerusalem (old city) 8 Vancouver 9 Banff 10 Corfu 11 Bayreuth 12 Bern 13 San Antonio 14 Savanna 15 Sydney 16 Quebec (old city) 17 Philadelphia 18 Ubud, Bali I wanted to limit the list to 15 but couldn’t get it down without dumping a place I...
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The Abandoned Building Society
Right. Lets deal with Miss Whiplash’s complaint first. Here are her girls on a recent outing with The Abandoned Buildings Society. They joined under the misapprehension that it was for Abandoned Women but enjoyed the trips so much they continued their membership. They are very knowledgeable in Algebra since the special tutorials Mr Picket gave them, he is a frequent vistor to Miss...
Smile Please Kahlila
“I am bloody smiling”
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tindink:
http://smokeandacoke.com/post/126301846/i-dont-think-one-can-appear-noble-while-riding-an Ostrich
A nationwide walk-out by Public Transport workers in LaLa Land may have brought the Principality to a virtual standstill but a local ostrich farm has found a novel way to get people to work on time!
Instead of catching a train or a bus to work…they catch an ostrich instead!
We...
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Wallpaper Soup and Cobblestone Pudding
T’ Chancellor says times are going to be hard for the next couple of years. These yuppies u’ll have to cut down to two 4 X4’s and only have 3 foreign holidays a year. Poor devils. They don’t know what hard is. I bet they’ll never have to live on Wallpaper Soup followed by Cobblestone Pudding. Mind you I don’t know where you’d get cobblestones to make pudding with these days. They are all under...
While on the subject of corsets
Now this reminds me of the days when I was dresser at Leeds City Varieties, getting Two Ton Tessie O’Shea down to an hourglass figure took some heaving I can tell you.
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Lady Morgana herself.
A rather piratical hat graces Lady Morgana herself. Picture from her faithful MorganasCat Apart from the hat, her wasp waist qualifies this picture for my corset section and should she take up residence in Royston Vasey I have no doubt Mr A.C. Pitt-Rivers and Dr. Bradbury -Winter would not hesitate in awarding her derriere The Venus Kallipygos Trophy.
For more from Lady Morganna click HERE
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A Toff of a Topper for Lynn
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The RedHead Appreciation Society
Here is Emma Palmer—-
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Should I be flattered that Tindink has named...
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The Cynthia Payne Academy for Young Ladies.
In a protest at the imposition of new school uniforms the girls of the 6th form staged a protest in the library by removing all their clothing. The Headmistress was not available for comment but 70 years old Janitor, Miller Blenkinsop, said he only wished he was 50 years younger and he’d seen nothing like it “since Peaches Page at the Leeds City Varieties when he wor a lad.Them lasses...